Selfish
by Psychotic Ai-chii
Summary: We're only human, right? You can't blame us for always wanting something, despite what it is. Our choices are always up to the chooser, despite its consequences. But what if you had to live with regret from that particular choice... for eternity? Based on the song "The Beast" sung by Hatsune Miku.


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vocaloid or the song _The Beast_. Thank you.**

* * *

- Selfish -

x x x

_Humans are selfish._

_ We can all agree on that one, right?_

_ But, I bet there's at least one person out there that disagrees with that statement._

_ "Why?", you ask. Well, that's easy to explain._

_ Humans all want something, all the time. Every second, every minute, every hour, every day, humans want something, anything. Whether it'd be something that would satisfy them, something that would bring pleasure to them, relief, they want something. And they'd do anything to get it. However, in some cases, in order for them to obtain their selfish wish, they must ask questions, make sacrifices. Those questions and sacrifices could either be necessary, or just plain idiotic, but most of the time, they wouldn't care. Not one bit. Until something horrendous occurs in their life. That's when they would start to feel regret, pain, loss, and everything starts to go downhill. Well, depending on the situation, but you know what I mean, right?_

_ So, did that answer your question? Did that satisfy you? If it did..._

_ Your selfish wish has been fulfilled._

* * *

I

_- The Village Outcast -_

x x x

The rain was coming down hard, harder than on a usual spring day. No matter. I'm barely outside anyway. It would be nice to get some fresh air once in a while though. I can't just keep staying indoors all the time. I need to socialize with the other village kids. But...

_Knock. Knock._

Ah, someone's at the door. Who could it be? Big brother just went out to buy some food. He can't be home so quickly.

Slowly, I got up from my perch near the window and quietly crept to the door. Just as I reached for the knob, there were another set of knocks, except this time, it sounded a bit more urgent.

I opened the door cautiously, only to find a familiar green-haired girl panting with her hands on her knees, soaked to the bone, and a substantial amount of mud and dried dirt patches on her skirts. I stared at her, a small smile forming upon my lips.

"Miku! Oh, I'm so glad you're home!" she cried, "Do you mind if I stay here for the night? And, er, clean up a bit?"

My smile grew bigger, and I started to feel a bit more giddy, "Sure! Um, b-but Gumi, why are you all covered in dirt? And why are you panting? Don't tell me you ran all the way here from your house?"

Gumi didn't say anything. She just continued to pant, then all of a sudden she collapsed.

"E-Eh?! G-Gumi?! Wake up!" I began to panic. Gumi's lungs don't function well, and running from far distances are never a good idea for her, but she stubbornly does so anyway. She lives at the other side of the village. Her house is almost at the outskirts of the village actually, and from here to there, the travel is almost about an hour walk. She ran here today. Ran. The fact that she ran here rather than taking her horse with her is not a good sign.

I shook my head slightly, a bit cautious about the left side of my face. I covered that side with my hair quickly, hoping nobody noticed, and picked up Gumi, bringing her inside. Surprisingly, she's not that heavy, but I still struggle from holding her up, just a bit.

Shutting the door behind me, I waddled towards the fireplace carefully without tripping over my own skirts, and gently placed Gumi down onto the floor just close enough to the fire, keeping her warm. I sat down beside her unconscious body, hugging my knees and stared at the fire. Hopefully Mikuo comes back with food before she wake up. If not, I could just go out to the backyard and pick out a couple of peaches to give to her. It might not be enough though.

The house is quiet, besides the soft crackling from the fireplace, it's always been quiet. Even with Mikuo around. He always just cooks, reads, or goes out to get more food or books. Or both. Me, I'm always here, at home, either reading some of Mikuo's non-horrific books, or staring out the windows, watching others go about their day. It's lonely, but it's fine, I don't mind, I'm used to it.

Sometimes, Gumi would come over, just as did now, and stay here until morning, or until nightfall. Most of the time, it's just to get away from her parents. Others, it's just to relieve herself from boredom or loneliness. Gumi doesn't have any siblings, just her parents, but half of the time, they're either fighting with each other, fighting with her, or just spitting words of nonsense at her. So, she'd just come here, with me, to get away from it all. I don't blame her. I'd do the same.

But I'm always scared of going outside.

x x x

"Hey, big brother?"

"Hm? What is it Miku?"

"W-Well... Why does everyone in the village stare at me in a funny way? I didn't do anything to upset them did I? Is it because I always cover my face? Do I look funny to them?"

Mikuo looked at me with sad eyes, and embraced me without answering any of my questions. As confused as I was, all I did was smile happily and hug him back lovingly, I had no idea he did that out of pity. Not love. Not affection. Pity.

I was about four years old at that time, a care-free child that had a big brother complex, so of course I wouldn't have understood his eyes. Nothing would hurt me or bring me down. Until one day, when I was ten.

"Miku, do you mind running to the bakery and ask Teto for about four loafs?" he said one day while rummaging through his things a little impatiently.

"Eh? Don't we have enough in the basket already?" I questioned him, gesturing him towards the woven basket sitting on the table, giving him a strange look.

All he did was shake his head and handed me eight coins,"This should be enough. Now go. You don't want to disappoint your big brother, now do you?"

Grabbing the coins, I rolled my eyes and headed for the door, only to be stopped by Mikuo grabbing my hand, "Eh? What's wrong?"

He stared at me briefly with the same sad eyes as before, but then shook his head and reached for my hair. He parted it so that the entire left side of my face was covered. Then, gently he kissed my forehead and disappeared into the kitchen before I could say anything.

I stood in front of the door for a while, my face a bit pink. There was really no need for that kiss, but I'm glad he covered that up in time. I've completely forgotten it's been exposed. My hair is up in a ponytail, and I barely allow my hair to fall over my face when it's up.

Sighing heavily, I said goodbye to Mikuo and went out the door.

Outside, you can see busy villagers running around, working, and village kids playing around, doing mischief, or just helping their parents with work.

I walked fairly slowly, appreciating the scene. Everything just looks so... carefree. It makes me feel giddy inside, I begin to skip across the village to Teto's little bakery.

Teto is Mikuo's good friend. They've known each other for as long as I could remember, although, she's older than Mikuo by who knows how many years. She refuses to state her age, but she looks like she could be about in her early 20s or so. Probably 19. But then Mikuo is 16 years old. Her age is nowhere near his, so she says. Ah, well.

Teto's bakery is in full view now. There's a crowd around the front, like always. Her bread are the best in the village, no, in all the land! The only reason is because she has an unusual obsession with bread, it's quite creepy, but her obsession lead her to open her own bakery and create great quality bread after hundreds of trails from before.

I swiftly move behind the crowd and went to the back, where her house is. Softly, I tap the door a few times before entering. The back door leads to Teto's kitchen, crowded with dozens and dozens of sacks of flour. I navigate around the sacks, careful not to knock down any open ones, and made my way to the front, where the actual shop was. I found Teto there hastily fulfilling every customer's order on time without breaking a sweat. Oh, how I wish I could do that. I'm way too clumsy and slow. But then again, so is Teto. How does she do that?

I opened my mouth, but closed it again. I can't call out for her now. She's busy. Now what am I supposed to do?! I don't want to keep Mikuo waiting for so long. I began to panic. _What do I do?!_

"Ah! Little Miku~ What are you doing back there?"

I let out a small yelp, jumping from Teto's sudden remark. How did she...?

"A-Ah, w-well..." I stuttered.

Teto turned towards me, still helping the customers at the counter, and gave me a warm smile, "You're here for Mikuo's bread, right?"

"Y-Yeah, I am! H-How did you-"

"Oh, he visited me last night and informed me before he went home~" she said happily, "He did that because he knew you'd be too shy and end up coming in through the back to ask me~ Oh, don't worry about paying me, he took care of that~"

I heard something break inside me and I hung my head in shame. _Mikuo..._

Teto giggled and came towards me, ruffling my hair a bit, careful to not uncover the other side of my face, "Ah, don't worry child. Here," she slipped into the kitchen behind me and came back with a dark woven basket filled with four freshly baked loaves of white bread and handed them to me.

"Tell your brother I said hello and good luck on his trip for me sweetie~"

Eh? Before I could ask, she gave me another warm smile, a light peck on the cheek, and turned back to the customers. I frowned, but shook it off and left the bakery after saying goodbye to Teto.

Just like before, I skipped on my way home, basket of bread swinging around in one hand. I hope Mikuo likes the bread. I wonder if he's still running around the house looking for whatever he's looking for.

I continued to skip towards our little house, but it was a little too late to realize I wasn't watching where I was going. I collided with someone, just about the same height as me, and we both got knocked to the floor. I groaned a bit from the fall, and realized the basket of Mikuo's bread had fallen into the dirt. Hurriedly, I picked up the bread that wasn't dirtied too badly, but struggled because of all the turquoise strands that were in my field of vision. Grunting impatiently, I flipped the rest of my hair forward and bunched it all up into a messy ponytail. From in front of me, I heard such a sharp gasp, it startled me and made me jump. Looking up, I saw the person I've just bumped into, a girl about my age, wide eyed and holding her hands over her mouth. She looked terrified.

"H-Hey, are you okay?" I reached out towards her, but she yelped and jumped back, away from my hand.

"M-Monster..." she said in a whisper filled with terror.

I blinked, confused and looked around me, "W-What? What are you-"

"MONSTER!"

Her scream was an ear-piercing screech, and it caused all the villagers around us to stop whatever they were doing and turn towards us. The girl started bawling, which caused most of the villagers to come running towards us, towards her.

"W-What's wrong Neru?! Why are you crying?!" one woman said, possibly her mother.

"M-Monster!" the girl Neru screamed in reply, and pointed with a shaky finger in my direction.

The woman followed where her pointed finger and stared directly at me. I was dumbfounded. Her expression changed from confused concern to a horrifying scowl.

"Ugh, she's right, there is a monster!"with that remark, the other surrounding villagers, with some village kids, gathered behind the woman and Neru, and stared directly at me. Each one of their faces turned from concern to disgust in a blink of an eye.

"They're right! It is a monster!" by then, it was almost as if the whole village was surrounding me with the same disgusted look, murmuring "monster" and "freak" back and forth to each other.

For a little while, I just sat there on the ground. I forgot about the dirty bread that is now covered with ants, and I just sat there, trying to process what just happened. The monster they're all looking at was me. It was my face. It was exposed. I tied all of my hair back and didn't leave a chunk out to cover my face. It was exposed. I am the monster.

I continued to sit there, letting everyone shun me. My eyes went out of focus and everything inside me, my emotions, just disappeared. The voices of the villagers were then blocked out by white noise, and I was alone. I was in the dark. Alone. I had nobody.

Moments later, I was back in reality, and everything came back into focus. Amongst the crowed, I heard a familiar voice, yelling. My eyes widened a bit and I whipped my head around. Behind me, Mikuo emerged from the crowd, panting, and extended an arm towards me. Just like that, I felt something weld up inside me and I began cry. The tears streamed down my cheeks and refused to stop. I cried and cried, and couldn't stop. I didn't have the energy to grab Mikuo's hand, I just continued to cry. I've never felt so much pain in my life.

"Mikuo! Why are you helping this-this... _thing_?" one woman said bitterly.

Mikuo ignored the woman and pushed past the remaining villagers that was in his way and picked me up, petting my head.

"B-Big brother..."

"Shh, it's okay now. I'm here. It's okay. I will never leave you." his voice was soft and reassuring, but it wasn't enough to calm me down. I cried harder and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in the crook of his neck. He pushed passed all of the villagers as he carried me and headed home, not even concerned about the threats the villagers were yelling at him.

"You'll regret helping an outcast!"

x x x

I sighed, hugging my knees tighter. Some of my hair fell gently over my eyes, covering them. A few tears escaped and trickled down my cheek. I didn't even bother to wipe them away.

Beside me, Gumi stirred and flipped over, murmuring things about the stars. Her breathing sounded it was back to normal, which was good. I peered at her from under my hair, my eyes softening a bit.

Gumi won't ever have to experience my pain.

I'm glad.

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(A/N): Hello there! Thank you for reading _Selfish_! This is my first Vocaloid fanfiction, and I hope you've enjoyed it!

In case any of you were wondering, this story is based on the song _The Beast_ sung by Hatsune Miku (look it up!). Its been stuck in my head lately, and it reminded me that I've been planning to write a fanfic about it a little while ago. So! _ Viola_, I have created this! Hopefully this story doesn't end up like my other one. orz  
I want to keep this story active, and I would like to update it frequently, because this story actually makes me super excited. So, if this fails, I will probably give up on life and stay hidden in my room for the rest of time.

So, I think this is all I'd like to say. I'll see you all soon! (Hopefully...)

- Ai.


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